Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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