This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
