Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
