I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
