hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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