I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
