I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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