So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
