I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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