I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
