Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
