Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize