May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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