so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
