I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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