That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
