You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
