And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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