you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
