I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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