Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
