Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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