I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
