he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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