ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
