im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
