We're like a lot better than the average bears
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well you can't waste a boner
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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