I wanna bring you to show and tell
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
