i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
