what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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