dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom