it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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