I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
