after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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