bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
