i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
