Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i wish my penis had a tongue
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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