the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
