we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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