You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
