I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
