cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
