I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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