Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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