Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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