who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Randomize
