i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
