so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there's paper in my vomit.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
