Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
