I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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