Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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