In the future we'll all be gay
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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