he wants to bone in the snuggie
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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