The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
