I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize