So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
